


Sugar Daddy

by blueye22



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bullying, Cas is just confused, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Castiel (Supernatural) Has Self-Worth Issues, Castiel gets a hobby, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Dean isn't really a sugar daddy, Death Threats, Harassment, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Self-Esteem Issues, Threats, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 18:56:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19235131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueye22/pseuds/blueye22
Summary: The bunker is now full to the brim with all of the survivors from the alternate universe. Survivors that are very suspicious of angels...any angel. Cas can deal with the suspicion until he earns the trust of the survivors. But there is one particular group who are not only suspicious of Cas, but they also have a strong hate for Cas. Their hate transfers into cruel words and mocking that Cas manages to ignore. Until one day a few choice words leaves Cas hurt, confused, and left wondering with questions. What the heck is a sugar daddy, and what does that have to do with Dean?





	Sugar Daddy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or it's characters. I am not making a profit on this fanfiction. 
> 
> WARNING: Please read the tags before reading this fic!

     Cas let out a sigh as he tried to focus on the words in the heavy text he held in his hands, trying to ignore the group of men on the other end of the bunker's library. The library was mostly empty except for Cas, Sam, and the group of hunters huddled up at one of the tables at the far end of the library. That particular group was only distracting to Cas, as their whispers were too low and too far away for Sam to notice or hear with his human hearing. But Cas's angel hearing picked up every single word, and those hunters knew it. This had been going on since the time Sam and Dean brought the survivors over to their world. At first Cas would send them pointed glares hoping to deter the whispers and cruel words, or at the very least, send them to a different room. But this did not deter them, just the opposite in fact. When this first started and Cas would send them glares, they would only send pleased smirks right back, except for one. One of them seemed to be the leader of the group, and he would only send Cas his own glares, cold and full of hatred. There were even times where Cas would not hear the whispering but he would feel himself being watched, and he would look up to see that same glare. It was unnerving. Now Cas just ignored it all, whispers and glares, in hopes they would eventually grow bored of this juvenile ridiculousness. He was not sure what he would do if they did not grow bored. He refused to tell Dean or Sam, though. He was not a child, and he refused to run to them with this problem.

      _"It's understandable with the kid, Jack, I guess. They keep him around because they raised him...of sorts. But why keep that old, useless angel?"_

_"I mean there must be some kind of benefit to it."_

_"Maybe he's their pet?"_

_"Dean's got to be getting something out of it."_

_"He must be. I don't see any other reason for keeping that useless angel with his broken wings around.'_

     Cas slammed the book shut, the sound braking the silence in the library. Sam looked up from his own book, frowning in concern.

     "You okay, Cas," Sam asked softly.

     Cas rubbed at his eyes before saying, "Yes, I'm okay. Sorry about the disturbance. I think I just need a break."

     "No worries, Cas," Sam answered with a gentle smile, "Hey, Dean mentioned he was going on a supplies and groceries run soon. Why don't you go see if you can catch him before he leaves? I bet getting out of the bunker for a few hours is just what you need."

      Cas sent Sam a grateful smile before standing up, "I think you're right, Sam. I'll go find him now."

      Cas made a few steps away from the table before a hesitant, "Hey," came from Sam. Cas turned towards his friend with an amused smile before saying, "Don't worry, Sam. I'll make sure Dean gets you stuff for your smoothies." Sam blushed at being caught but gave a grateful smile to Cas as he said, "Thanks, man."

      Sam gave a pleased sigh, feeling proud as he just solved two problems in one. He gave Cas a bit of a break while simultaneously making sure Dean won't purposefully forget his stuff for smoothies. He wouldn't put it passed Dean...he's done it before. Sam glanced over to the group of men at the far corner of the library. Now that two problems were solved, he directed his focus on what he believed to be a third one. Even though his nose has been in this text for these past few hours, he was still more observant than people realized, even while studying. He had heard the laughter from the men, and while he could not hear what they were saying, he could hear the sound of soft whispering coming from the group. At one point he thought he saw them point in Cas's direction. He narrowed his eyes as continued to watch the group as a thought occurred to him that these men may be harassing Cas....like a bunch of school yard kids. He didn't have proof, though, and he already knew the group would act all innocent....again like a bunch of schoolyard kids...if Sam were to confront them now. He was just trying to think of a subtle way to get closer to hear what they were whispering without them noticing when the "leader" of the group lifted his head and caught Sam's eyes...or glare more like it. The man raised an eyebrow in surprise before saying, "There a problem, Winchester?" Catching the others' attention, and Sam found himself on the other end of several pairs of challenging stares.

     "I don't know. Is there," Sam challenged back.

     Instead of taking him up on his challenge, the "leader," who's name Sam remembered to be Brian, asked, "Where did your angel go?"

     Sam immediately bristled, tired of hearing others refer to his friend and brother as property of the Winchester's. Sam glared at Brian before saying, "His name is Castiel, and he is not my angel. He is not anyone's angel. Castiel does not belong to anyone, and furthermore, he is mine and Dean's family. You would be wise to treat him with respect," Sam warned.

     Brian let out a laugh as he held his hands up in mock surrender, "Alright, Winchester. Didn't mean anything by it."

      _Yeah right_ , Sam thought before saying, "Don't you guys have a hunt you should be working on."

     "We just got back from one. We need to rest up," Brian answered, but Sam wasn't fooled.

     "That was a week ago. You are plenty rested now," Sam stated.

     "Whatever you say, Winchester," Brian answered, this time not bothering to hide his cold, mocking smile.

     Sam continued to glare at the men until they were all gathering their stuff and leaving the library, hopefully on their way to find a hunt. Sam decided he would talk to Cas once he returned to get to the bottom of the issue...and hopefully to get proof in order to kick those cowards out on their asses.

* * *

     Cas let out a relieved sigh as he relaxed into the leathered, front seat of Baby. Finally feeling at ease now that he was away from those assbutts at the bunker. 

     "You doing okay over there, buddy," Dean asked, amusement obvious in his tone.

     "Mm, yes. I just needed to get out of the bunker for a little while," Cas answered.

     "Dealing with some cabin fever," Dean asked.

     "Something like that," Cas answered vaguely, and before Dean decided to question more he asked, "what do young adults like to do these days?"

     "Why?"

     "I want to get Jack a gift, something he would like or be interested in, but I'm not sure what he would like."

     "Ah, I wouldn't worry about it. Jack probably isn't sure himself," Dean answered.

     Cas frowned at that statement, and once he realized the truth behind it, he frowned even more; this time with guilt. He had made a promise to look after and raise Jack to be a kind, regular kid; safe from any danger. But this past year and half, Jack has been in nothing but danger and does not have a regular, normal life. Cas has been a complete and utter failure. Cas picked at a loose thread on his coat, not saying anything more. A gentle squeeze on his shoulder brought his attention back to Dean.

     "I can tell what you are thinking over there, so stop it. We have not failed that kid. We've just ran into some bad luck, none of which was anybody's fault. You've still done right by Jack."

     Cas gave a grateful smile, but frowned when a thought occurred to him. "He should still have a hobby at least." 

     There was a huff of laughter before Dean said, "Look who's talking, Mr. I'll-Just-Wait-Here-Then," he teased.

     "Hey, just because you don't see it, doesn't mean I don't have a hobby," Cas defended.

     "Oh, well, excuse me," Dean teased with an eye roll, "please share what this mysterious hobby is."

     Instead of responding, Cas flushed and averted his eyes to his window. There was another chuckle from Dean before he said, "Oh,  _now_ , you're going to get all shy. Come on, what is it," he teased some more.

     Cas narrowed his eyes as he continue to look out the window, refusing to answer as his blush only deepened. 

     "No? Alright fine," Dean answered, then suddenly pulled Baby over and rolled to a stop on the shoulder of the road.

     "What are you...," Cas started with a frown, but was interrupted with an answer.

     "Baby isn't moving an inch until you tell me what this hobby is."

     "You can't be serious," Cas stated, annoyed.

     "Very serious," Dean answered with a smirk.

     Cas narrowed his gaze at Dean before crossing his arms and turning to stare out the window again, refusing to say anything. 

     "Oh, come on. Really? What, you think I'm going to tease you," Dean asked, this time half serious.

     Cas turned back to face Dean, and his blank stare gave the answer to Dean's question.

     "Seriously? Who was the one that watched all the Disney and Pixar movies with you, and not tease you once when you enjoyed them, huh," Dean asked.

     At that reminder, Cas felt his shoulder begin to relax as he felt himself begin to relent. When Cas wanted to watch all of those cute movies, and Dean had finally gave into watching them with him, there was no teasing. Though, Cas suspected that partly had to do with the fact that Dean still enjoyed those movies just as much, and just didn't want to admit it; but Cas decided to keep that suspicion to himself. Instead he asked, "Can we go to the library?"

    Dean blinked and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the sudden question. He let out a huff of amusement before saying, "Was that your attempt of changing the subject," he smirked, "Sorry, buddy, but that is not going to work. We can sit here and talk about libraries until the cows come home, and Baby will still not move until I know what this hobby is."

    "Why do you want to know so bad," Cas asked with a curious frown.

    "Duh, because we're friends. Got to know these things about you. It's in the job description," Dean answered with one of his charming smiles, and this time Cas couldn't hold back his own smile.

    Finally, Cas answered, "There are books at the library, that you can borrow for free," he stated softly.

    "Indeed there are," Dean answered, sounding confused, "but the bunker already has a library with everything you need."

    "It has everything we need for research," Cas corrected, "but it only has a small selection of fiction books...and I've already read them all," Cas hesitantly admitted.

    "Ah," Dean exclaimed in understanding, "so reading fiction is the mysterious hobby. That's all you had to say, buddy," Dean teased before frowning in confusion, "I thought we had a pretty big selection of fiction. How did you get through them so fast?"

    "I don't sleep, Dean," Cas answered simply. 

    "Ah....," Dean answered then gave a wince before explaining, "Well, in order to check a book out at the library, you have to have a library card, which requires a lot of information that is not safe for us to give. We can't have any paper trails that will lead us to here, buddy."

    "But you go shopping in town all the time," Cas argued as he frowned in confusion.

    "Yes, but I only use cash when I shop in town," Dean explained with a regretful smile.

    "Oh, okay, that makes sense," Cas stated, trying to hide his disappointment with a smile.

    "But," Dean stated cheerfully, "we can go buy you some more books, and next trip we can take Jack with us, see what kind of stuff he wants to try."

    Cas gave Dean a grateful smile, "Thank you, Dean. I think Jack would like that, but you don't need to worry about me. I don't want you spending any money on me."

    "Uh huh," Dean started dryly, "let me rephrase that. We  _will_ go shopping for new books, and if you don't pick any out, I will. So you might as well pick the books out yourself."

    Cas rolled his eyes, and let out a chuckle before saying, "All right, Dean. I'll pick the books out."

    Dean gave a big smile before saying, "Great. I'll show you some good ways to get a bunch of books for cheap," and then sped back down the road towards town.

* * *

    Sam looked up when he heard the sound of the metal door up the stairs opened, and frowned when it was followed by the sounds of Dean and Cas arguing. 

    "Dean, this is all really too much. I don't need all of this. Please go return those furniture items to Target," Cas begged as he followed Dean down the stairs, both of their arms weighed down with grocery bags.

    "Nope. They're here now. Might as well keep them," Dean answered good naturedly.

    There was a huff before Cas said, "Fine. I'll take them back myself."

    "No can do. Everything will be all set up tonight, and I'll be sure to write your name on them in permanent marker," Dean answered as he reached the bottom of the stairs, throwing a smirk at Sam.

    When Cas reached the bottom of the stairs Sam could see the worried frown on his face as he said, "Really, Dean, this is too much. I really appreciate it, but I don't need all that. I was making do just fine without all of it before."

    "Cas, cramming yourself inside the laundry closet is not making do just fine," Dean answered, this time his tone and face more firm.

    "Uh...what's going on guys," Sam asked, deciding to cut in.

    This gained a huff from Cas as he said, "Dean is being stubborn, as usual," as he set the grocery bags on the map table.

    "I'm trying to do something nice. You're the one who is being ridiculously stubborn," Dean defended.

    "And it's appreciated, Dean. It really is, but it isn't worth all this trouble. Your time and money is better spent else where," Cas stated.

    "Well guess what, you don't get to decide that. I do. And I say this is very much worth it. And it's not even that big a deal. I mean, your acting like I spent a fortune," Dean answered with an eye roll. 

    Cas looked as if he was about to argue back, but Sam beat him to it by holding up both hands and saying, "Okay, one of you explain to me what is going on."

    Dean set his grocery bags on the map table too before saying, "Cas here found a hobby he likes."

    Sam raised his eyebrows, and turned back to Cas with a big smile, "Really? What is it?"

    Cas stared at his feet as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his trench coat. He gave a shrug of his shoulders before saying, "Just books...reading," he answered vaguely.

    "Yep," Dean answered, "and he's read all of the books he wants in the bunker's library, and he wanted to get more from the public library in town."

    "But a library card would leave a paper trail," Sam finished for his brother, finally starting to understand, "so you took him shopping."

    "Yep," Dean chirped again with a smirk, "we went to garage sales, library book sales, Goodwill, and used book stores. We got a lot for a good deal," he finished proudly.

    "That's awesome, Cas," then Sam frowned in confusion before asking, "but what's all this talk of furniture?"

     This time Dean's smile returned to an annoyed look when he said, "Well apparently Cas's room has been taken over by one of our...guests...and he has been squeezing himself in the laundry closet to read because that is one of the only rooms that is not littered with people sleeping on cots."

     Sam flinched at this news as he started to feel guilty. He had forgotten about Cas not having his own space in the bunker. "Shit. I'm so sorry, Cas. That's my fault. One of the guests took it while you were out on one of your leads for Dean's whereabouts. I tried telling them that the room was yours, but they raised up a stink because you didn't need the room because angels don't sleep. At the time, we were both in and out of the bunker looking for Dean, I decided to let it go until everything settled down. It slipped my mind," Sam explained, guilt apparent in his face.

     Cas quickly shook his head, "Don't apologize, Sam. They were right to take it. I don't need the room, they do," he finished in a matter of fact tone.

     Dean rolled his eyes before saying, "Yes, well, now everything is settled. This is your home, Cas, and I won't stand for you being pushed out of it. You need your own space in your own home, and that is final," he answered firmly. Dean then turned to Sam as he said, "Nobody wants that small room next to my room, the one that is too small to be a room, looks more like a closet?"

     Sam nearly winced again out of guilt. He had tried offering that room to others, but everyone complained that it would be too small. It wasn't that small though. Sam figured it used to be some sort of storage room or maybe a office. Sam, however, knew the real reason nobody wanted the room is because it is next to Dean's room. Everybody was still freaked out and uneasy around Dean because of everything that happened with Michael. Of course, no one had actually said this to Sam, but he has heard whispers. Sam has never said anything to Dean about it because he did not want to hurt his brother's feeling, but Dean was not stupid and likely already knew.

     "I'm going to turn it into a miniature library for Cas. While we were out, I got Cas a futon and a small chair from Target so he'll be comfortable. And there are extra book cases in the larger storage room here, and I will move some into that room," Dean finished.

     "That's a great idea! Cas, everybody else has had plenty of opportunity to take that room, and they all turned it down. As far as I'm concern, that room is yours," Sam stated firmly.

     "But someone might change their mind," Cas started, but Sam cut him off.

     "Nope, they had their chance," Sam stated, tone still firm.

     Cas's shoulders dropped as he finally relented with a tired, "Fine. Thank you, Dean and Sam," Cas answered with a grateful smile. Despite his reluctance, the idea of having his own little library was really exciting.

     "You're welcome, buddy," Dean answered with a smirk before saying, "Sam is going to help me carry everything else in. Will you put the groceries away?"

     Cas hurriedly nodded, eager to help, before grabbing some grocery bags and making his way to the kitchen. The rest of the night was spent with putting away groceries and supplies, and preparing for movie night in the bunker. 

* * *

     The next day Cas was once again seated at the map table across from Sam, researching and translating more texts. The same group of men were still over in the same corner, except they appeared to be getting ready to leave for a hunt. They all had large duffle bags opened in front of them, filled with weapons. Each man was either cleaning an angel blade or their guns. This didn't stop them from their whispers about Cas, much to the angel's frustration.

      _"That useless angel is still here. Seriously, why the hell are they keeping him around?"_

_"His wings are useless, there are all kinds of wards that can be used against him. The only thing he's got going for him is his angel blade, and humans can use those just fine."_

_"Yeah, we don't need the freak."_

_"All he seems to do around here is read."_

_"Did you see Sam carrying some boxes into the room next to the vessels?"_

_"Yeah, I asked him about it and he said they were preparing the room for the angel."_

_"I told him we needed the room. Asshole said we had our chance."_

_"That weak, wingless little freak..."_

     Once again, Cas slammed his book shut and shoved it away from him.

     Sam looked up from his laptop at the noise. "Cas, what's wrong?"

     "Nothing," Cas answered with a sigh before standing up from the table and saying, "I need a break from this right now. I'm going to check the inventory in our storage, see if we're running low on any spell ingredients."

     "Oh, okay, let me come help," Sam offered and started to get up but Cas held a hand up.

     "No, that's alright, Sam. I'd like the privacy, actually." 

     Sam frowned in concern but said, "Okay, I get it, Cas. Let me know if you change your mind."

     Cas made his way out of the library, and once he was in the inventory he let his body relax in relief. He didn't want to give those assbutts the satisfaction of seeing him upset, but hearing every dark thought Cas has ever had about himself said out loud and verified by humans, those he has sworn to protect, it hurt and brought every single one those dark thoughts and doubts back to the forefront of his mind. Instead staying stuck in those thoughts, Cas forced himself to take a deep breath and start going through the shelf that held all of their herbs, inventory chart in hand. After a few minutes of Cas updating the inventory chart, there was a voice behind him that stated, "I really don't understand it," in deep, cold tone. Cas whirled around and was surprised to see the leader of the little group of hunters standing directly in front of him, in Cas's personal space. Cas took a subtle step back, but inwardly curse when the sound of one of the jars on the shelves wobbling in place told him that he was right up against the shelf now.

     "I've been trying to understand why they keep you around. How could they possibly be benefiting from keeping you here," the man, who he has heard Sam call Brian, said; seemingly not bothered by how uncomfortable Cas was with the closeness. "I mean Dean even spent all this money on you, and prepared this room just for you while the rest of us lie on uncomfortable cots. It just doesn't make sense."

     "You were given every opportunity to take advantage of that room," Cas quickly responded, repeating the words that Sam had told him the previous day.

     Though Brian continued on as if Cas hadn't said anything, "Then it occurred to me that it must be a more... _physical_ benefit for Dean, and maybe even Sam. I mean Dean has done nothing but spoil you while you sit on your useless, wingless ass all day. Is he your sugar daddy, halo? You let him have a little angel fun, and he pampers you like a princess."

     "You're not making any sense. There is no secret arrangement between Dean and I," Cas answered, both annoyed and confused now.

     Immediately the cold smirk that had graced Brian's face melted away when suddenly his face muscles contorted in rage as he glared at Cas. "You mean to tell me you are not doing anything around here to earn your stay. Your wings are useless. You have no connections in heaven. Even your piss poor healing abilities is limited. The only thing I've seen you done around here is read, and now you're telling me you're not even giving it up."

    "You should leave," Cas stated lowly, not even wanting to make sense of what Brian was saying.

     Instead Brian took another step closer, ignoring Cas's demand to say, "I suggest you get your act together and start pulling your weight around here. If you don't start being the grateful bitch you are supposed to be around here and awarding Dean, then the Winchesters are going to get tired of your useless ass real quick. They'll decide you are not even worth the air they breath, and will let the rest of us deal with you. Either way, it'll be fine with me. Once they ditch you, I'll deal with you myself," Brian place his arm to lean against the shelf behind Cas, partially caging him in, "and just so you know, as far as I'm concern, the only good angel is a dead angel."

    Instantly Cas shoved at Brian, pushing him several feet away from him. "You stay the hell away from me," Cas bit out angrily before walking away. He was stopped though when a frim grip grasp hold of his arm and tugged him back towards Brian. "Don't you walk away from me, you freak," Brian stated. In the next second Cas had his angel blade in his hand, as his grace glowed blue in his eyes while he gave Brian a warning glare. It was that moment where Sam came around the corner, staring at a text in his hands.

    "Sorry, Cas, I know you said you needed privacy. I just want to see if we have the ingredients for a spell real quick, then I'll be out of your ha-," Sam finally looked up from the text to the tense scene before him. He narrowed his eyes at Brian before frowning at Cas to ask, "is everything alright, Cas."

    Cas angrily shoved his arm out of Brian's gripped before saying, "I'm fine," and then storming out the door. Predictably he heard Sam hurrying after him. He started to blink away the tears as he hurried his steps even faster, not wanting Sam to see him upset and asked questions.

    "Cas, slow down a second," Sam called from behind him.

    "I'm fine, Sam," Cas answered shortly without stopping.

    "I just want to make sure you're okay."

    "I said I'm fine, Sam," Cas forced out.

     "Come on, Cas, just talk to me-," but Sam was interrupted.

     "No! Just leave me alone," Cas snapped out before taking a sharp turn in the hallway, and slamming into a hard chest.

     A pair of hands gently grasped Cas's arms as a familiar, gentle, but rough voice said, "Hey, hey, hey. What's all this about, huh," Dean asked softly. Cas, now feeling stuck, refused to answer and instead stared down at his and Dean's boots. There was brief paused as the sound of Sam's hurried footsteps came to a pause. 

     "It's okay, Sam. I got him," Dean assured.

     Immediately Cas was annoyed. What the hell did Dean mean by, _I got him_. Like he was some kind of toddler that needed to be contained and consoled. Cas couldn't stop himself from snapping, "I am not a child," finally glaring up at Dean.

     Dean frowned down at Cas before saying, "No one is saying you're a child. Now, come on. We can go in here and talk," Dean stated. Without asking, Dean gently gripped Cas's shoulder and steered him to a room just down the hall next to his bedroom. As soon as Cas stepped inside the room, he blinked in surprise as he realized this must be the room that Dean set up for him and his books. One side of the room was completely covered with books shelves. The book shelves were huge, reaching all the way to the ceiling, with large shelves. Cas knew that they had bought at least a hundred of new books to read, but compared to these shelves, that was barely enough to scratch the surface. On the other side of the small, narrow room was the futon that Dean had got him. He had dressed it up with some small pillows and a throw blanket draped over the top. The small accent chair was at the far end of the room in the corner opposite from the bookcases, and in between the chair and the futon was a tall floor lamp. Down the middle laid a long, narrow rug. Cas continue to blink in surprise of the lovely room, still in shocked silence. Dean's hand that was gripping one his shoulders gave a gentle squeeze before asking, "Do you like it? I know it's small, but I figured it was the perfect size for one person." Dean actually sounded shy about it, and Cas couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face. Cas turned towards Dean and said, "It's perfect, Dean," he stated with a smile, "you really didn't need to go through all this trouble, though," Cas said, suddenly feeling guilty. Brian's hurtful words coming back full force in his mind.

    Dean rolled his eyes before saying, "Oh, we are not having that argument again. I've said my piece on it, and that's that," he finished firmly. 

    "Yes, Dean," Cas answered with a gentle smile, but couldn't help to feel worried.

    Dean frowned as he watched Cas, and Cas had to wonder if his worry was somehow obvious. "Here," Dean said, suddenly sitting down on the futon, "have a seat. Try it out," he finished while patting the seat next to him. Cas obliged by taking the remaining seat in the two seater futon. It was surprisingly comfortable, much better than the washer and dryer machines he would climb on top of in the laundry closet. "It's very comfortable, Dean. Thank you for putting this together for me," he gave a humorous smile when he said, "this is much better than the laundry closet."

    Dean gave a snort before saying, "Buddy, a tent and a sleeping bag would have been better than that," he leaned comfortably back against the futon, "You're rolling in style here."

    Cas couldn't help but laugh before agreeing, "I suppose I am."

    Dean sat up suddenly, "Oh, and you can lay it flat as well. Can take yourself a little angel nap anytime you want," Dean stated excitedly.

    Cas frowned in confusion, "I don't sleep, Dean," he said seriously.

    Dean rolled his eyes before saying, "The point is, you can lay down and relax if you want."

    Cas let himself smile at that as he looked around the room. There was still more to this room that he hadn't paid attention to earlier. On the wall, close to the door was a hanging coat rack, that Cas assumed was for his trench coat. Next to the chair was a nightstand with coasters and bookmarks stacked on top, and even had a small picture of himself, Dean, and Sam. There was even paintings on the wall, that Cas had recognized from different rooms throughout the house. Cas swallowed as his worry only strengthen while Brian's words screamed in his mind. Dean, and probably Sam, had put a lot of work into this room. Did he really deserve all of this? Had he done anything to earn this? Was something expected from him in return? A hand on his shoulder tore him away from his panicked thoughts and he looked over at Dean, who was frowning in concern again.

    "Will you tell me what happened out there," Dean asked.

    "I'm sorry for snapping at Sam," Cas said instead. He shot up from the futon, "I'll go apologize," he said then made for the door.

    Dean quickly grab Cas's hand before saying, "Stop. Sit down," in a firm voice. Cas sat down stiffly. Dean dropped his arm on the back of the futon around Cas's shoulder to grip Cas's shoulder in a comforting squeeze.

    "That's not why I asked. I'm not angry about that, and I can promise you Sam isn't either. Neither of us are angry, we're just worried," Dean explained. 

    Cas didn't say anything, just stared down at his hand, which were now clenched together. When nothing was said from Cas, Dean let out a sigh before he said, "Cas, buddy, I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

    "There is nothing wrong," Cas lied.

    "Cas, I just caught you upset and close to tears," Dean responded, incredulous.

    "It's nothing," Cas responded, this time trying to sound casual.

    "Clearly it's not," Dean started, but he was interrupted.

    "Dean," Cas started, his tone a little more firm, "I really don't want to talk about it."

    There was a short moment of silence before Dean let go of a resigned sigh, and Cas had knew he won this round. Hopefully, Dean will drop it from here and not bring it up again. 

    "Alright," Dean gave in, "but I just want to make sure you know you can come to me when you do want to talk, and Sam too. You do know that, right?"

    Cas finally looked up from his hands, unable to stop the grateful smile as he said, "Yes, Dean, I know." Dean responded with a small, sad smile of his own. Cas's heart clenched at the sight. He knew that look. Once again, Cas has disappointed Dean. He swallowed when he felt his throat tighten up again, not wanting to give in to that dreaded look. Instead, Cas asked, "Do you really think Sam is not mad at me?"

    "Ah, he's not mad," Dean assured, back to his laid back attitude, "he's just worried. You know him. Once he's got that inner Dr. Phil turned on, there's no stopping him," he joked with a wink. Cas could not help the chuckle that escaped his mouth. "But I'm sure he wouldn't mind you checking in with him later," Dean suggested.

    "I'll do that," Cas promised.

    There was another moment where they sat in comfortable silence before Dean gave Cas's leg a pat as he stood up from the futon. "I'll give you some time to enjoy your new library in privacy," he pointed toward the door knob as he walked closer to the door, "I replaced the door knob with one that has a lock."

    Cas, once again touched with the thoughtfulness with this whole gesture, gave a gentle smile as he said, "Thank you so much, Dean. I love all of this," he assured.

    "You're welcome bud," Dean answered with a happier smile before finally stepping out of the room, locking the door behind him.

* * *

     It was a couple of hours later that Cas found himself on the other end of Sam's bedroom door. Cas gave a gentle knock and waited for the 'enter' before stepping inside. Sam was lounging on his bed, sat up against the headboard as he held a remote in his hand, lazily clicking buttons on the device. When Sam looked over and saw that it was Cas, he smiled brightly before saying, "Come on in, Cas. Shut the door behind you." Cas did as he was told before finally standing awkwardly at the foot of Sam's bed.

     "I wanted to apologize, Sam, for snapping at you earlier. I shouldn't have done that. I know you were only worried," Cas stated sincerely.

     "Don't worry about it, buddy," Sam answered casually. He patted at the spot next to him on his bed, "I was looking for a documentary to watch. Come watch with me?"

     Cas smile and hurriedly kicked off his shoes before clambering onto Sam's bed, making himself comfortable sitting up against the headboard like Sam. Even though he preferred reading fiction, he did enjoy watching documentaries with Sam. 

     "I also wanted to thank you for my little library," Cas stated softly, while Sam flipped through documentaries on Netflix.

     Sam smiled brightly at Cas before saying, "You're welcome, Cas. Do you like it?"

     "I love it," Cas assured.

     "Good," Sam answered casually before turning back to the TV screen, finally picking a history documentary. Nothing else was said between the two friends, Sam engrossed in his documentary and Cas distracted by his own thoughts. Now that the initial hurt from Brian's words passed, he found himself mostly confused by Brian's words as some of it did not make any sense, and Cas did not understand the reference of "sugar daddy." After a few minutes of Cas unsuccessfully trying to think of the meaning of the term finally said, "Sam, what's a sugar daddy?" Sam's head whipped around, his face in such a shock that Cas worried he had said something wrong.

     "W-What," Sam stuttered out.

     "Sugar daddy," Cas repeated, this time more hesitant, "what is that?"

     Sam continued to remain in shocked silence, long enough that Cas was about to apologize for asking that, but then Sam quickly paused the documentary and turned back to Cas to ask, "Where did you hear that term?

     "Does it matter," Cas asked with a raised eyebrow.

     "Yes," Sam surprised Cas with his sudden seriousness, tone booking no room for an argument. Before Cas could say anything, Sam followed up with, "Has someone told you they wanted to be your sugar daddy?"

     "No," Cas hurriedly assured, "I just...read it somewhere. I didn't know what it meant," he lied and almost closed his eyes at his pathetic attempt of a lie.

     "Hmm," was all that Sam said, clearly not believing Cas, "well it's not really a relationship. It's usually when a really rich person gives money and luxurious items to another person in exchange for sex, exclusively between the two of them. It's like a pretend relationship. Usually the individual will live with the sugar daddy, or the sugar daddy will put them up in their own place and will cover their rent, bills, etc."

     "Oh," Cas said, still utterly confused by Brian's words now, as he knew that he and Dean definitely did not have a relationship like that. "Why would someone enter into something like that," Cas asked.

     Sam gave a shrug before saying, "I have no idea, never been in a situation like that. But I guess because one person gets a lot of money and luxuries while the other gets, I don't know, to feel special? But I doubt it's always that black and white."

     Cas nodded in understanding as he frowned down at his lap, lost in thought, still confused. Why would Brian say that Dean was Cas's sugar daddy? Dean certainly wasn't rich, and the two of them have never had sex. Cas would say that Dean does provide for Cas, in a way. Cas doesn't have any human needs or bills, and he doesn't even need hunter supplies because his blade and grace was all he needed. But Dean did provide Cas's indulgences sometimes, like the library or new clothes when the ones he had got torn from a fight. Cas has been told repeatedly that the bunker was his home, but was he still expected to pay some kind of contribute? Dean had never approached Cas about sex before. Was this one of those things he was supposed to know about without being told? Brian's words about awarding Dean came back to him, and he wondered if he was supposed to award Dean for everything he has done. Cas has definitely thanked Dean plenty of times, and told him how grateful he was, but maybe Dean was expecting more? Did he need to feel special?

     "Cas," Sam said, jarring Cas from his thoughts and ever growing confusion.

     "Yes, Sam?"

     "If you're being harassed, I need to know about it. Dean and I can't stop it if we don't know about it," Sam stated seriously.

     "There is nothing to stop," Cas lied, "I'm not being harassed."

     "Alright," Sam resigned, but he didn't look convince.

     "Truly, Sam. I am fine," Cas stated, trying to convince Sam. 

     "Just...let me know if that changes, okay," Sam stated. Cas promised and the both went back to the archeological documentary. Another hour passed before there was a knock at Sam's door followed by Dean calling out for them. A second later the door opened and Dean was greeted with the sight of Sam and Cas seated comfortably on Sam's bed with a big bowl of popcorn between them.

     "Well isn't this cozy," Dean teased with a smirk, earning himself a pair of glares and popcorn projectile before he continued with, "I really hate to break up this adorable slumber party," more popcorn projectile, "but I think I found a case. You both should pack now, we leave in the morning."

* * *

     The case turned out to be an abandoned and haunted old library in a New England town.  Currently the Winchesters and Cas were trapped inside the library, with all exits sealed shut by a supernatural force. The ghost of the library they suspected it to be body was cremated when they passed, so there was something else tying the ghost to the library. Dean thought it was the library itself and thought it should be salt and burned all long with everything inside it. Cas did not agree, however, and thought they should go a more subtle route. He was convinced that the item the ghost was attached to was the locket the library kept in a glass frame in the lobby.

     "Cas, buddy, you might be right; but we are kind of in a tight spot to be picky here."

     "Dean, I know it's the locket! We have time to try at least. Please trust me on this," Cas begged urgently. He really didn't not want to see so much history to go up in flames. 

     There was a short moment of silence before Dean let out a sigh, a glorious sound as Cas knew he was giving in, "Alright fine. We'll do this your way," Cas face lit up with a smile before Dean continue with, "but I want my damn award for this," he finished lightly. And just like that, Cas's smile dropped and he felt his face visibly pale. Dean himself was smirking, looking proud of himself. Award? What did Dean mean by that? Cas had thought he was confident in thinking that Dean was not the person Brian described him to be...but there was that word again. Cas swallowed as he tried to think of a response, but he was interrupted when the whole library building started to shake.

     "Uh, Cas, whatever it is you are going to do, you need to do it now," Sam warned, jump starting Cas into action. Instantly he sprinted towards the locket's frame, deciding he will think about this later.

* * *

     Later came once Sam, Dean, and Cas made it back to the bunker. Cas was now in his little library, seated on his futon, clad only in a robe and his boxer briefs. He look down at his hand, and saw that it was shaking. Cas gently cover the hand to try to stop the shaking. He felt like he was going to be sick. He did not want this, not in the least. Well...at least not like this. For years now, Cas knew he had fallen deeply in love with Dean, and would even allow himself to fantasize about Dean and himself being together. Not just with sex, but being together in a relationship. He wanted Dean to be with him because he loved him, cared about him. But with just a few simple words, and all of that is now tarnished. Cas looked at the clock and inwardly cursed. He's been in his library for over an hour. Would Dean be mad at him if Cas kept him waiting? With shaky legs Cas stood up, and he was sure that if he were human, he would be feeling sick to his stomach right now. With a deep breath, Cas opened the door and made his way down the hall. He half considered going back and locking himself up in his library for the night, but would Dean count that as the last straw and declare him useless? Cas didn't know if his heart could survive that betrayal.

     He reached Dean's door all too soon. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and still his shaking, and then finally gave a gentle knock. Almost immediately he heard Dean call "enter" from his room. Cas stepped inside the room and forced himself to shut the door behind him. Dean was sitting up in his bed, eyes staring at the TV in front of him. Before now, no matter how rough or frightening Dean may appear to someone else, Cas had never been afraid of Dean. Dean had always been a sense of safety for Cas, until now. Now, Cas looks at those muscles and large form, and wonders if Dean would be rough or gentle with him.

     "Cas?...….Cas?....Cas!" Dean's voice startled Cas from his thoughts, and he quickly realized he must have been standing there silent for longer that what was acceptable.

     "I'm sorry, Dean," Cas stated softly.

     "Don't worry about it, buddy. Everything okay," Dean asked, concerned frown still marring his face.

     Cas ignores the question and instead says, "I'm sorry if I have been ungrateful. I truly do appreciate everything you've done for me."

     "Oookay? Thanks, buddy," Dean stated, still incredibly confused.

     "I can...I can show you how grateful I am. I don't...really know what I am doing, but if you just tell me what you want I know I could...please you," Cas forced out.

     "Cas, I'm not sure I understand what you are saying," Dean answered, confused frown only deepening.

     Cas took a shuddering breath as he look down at his robe, and with shaking hands, he undid the sash and let the robe fall to the ground. "You're award, Dean," was Cas's only explanation. Cas look down at his hands, and inwardly curse when he noticed the shaking. He wrapped one hand around the other, but both hands continue to shake. Cas looked back up at Dean, and flinched when he saw the hard stare Dean was sending his way, confused frown still marring that handsome face. After a moment, Dean finally stood up from his bed and slowly approached Cas. Cas's whole body started to shake, and with every step that Dean took towards him brought increasingly panicked gasps. Dean stop a few inches before him. Feeling vulnerable, Cas couldn't help but wrap his arms around his own naked waist, wanting to cover himself up.

     "Is this something that you want," he heard Dean asked, but Cas couldn't bring himself to look up at Dean to answer him. But then a gentle pressure under his chin made Cas look up. He felt a little better when he saw the gentleness in those green eyes. "Is that what you want, Cas," Dean repeated.

     Cas bit his lips, trying to think of a way to sound believable, but Dean gave a comforting stroke up and down Cas's arm as he said, "It's okay, Cas. I'm not going to be mad. Just tell me the truth." The kindness was too much and Cas let out a breathless sob as he said, "No, not like this," feeling utterly ashamed. Miraculously, Dean did not react angrily. Instead, he gently tugged Cas's near naked form into a tight hug. 

     "Good," Dean whispered in his ear, "I don't want it to happen like this either."

     Cas was much too relieved to process that last comment. Instead, Cas instantly sagged in relief, completely relaxing into Dean's arms as his full body shakes subsided. They stayed that way for a moment, until Dean let go and guided him to sit on his bed, wrapped the robe back around Cas, and took a seat next to him.

     "Will you tell me why on Earth you would think you have to do this," Dean asked, his calm and gentle tone not changing.

     "I want to be useful," Cas answered, "want to earn my stay here."

     "Okay," Dean stated slowly, "those comments are something we will be talking about later, but it doesn't answer my question. Why did you feel you had do that," Dean repeated, this time sounding more firm.

     Cas look down to pick at a loose thread from his robe before softly saying, "Sugar Daddy," as if that was all of the explanation needed. Dean's eyebrows shot up as he blinked in surprise.

     "Where did you hear about that," Dean asked, frowning in confusion.

     "Sam told me what it meant," Cas answered with a sigh as he pushed his arms through the bath robe to put it on more securely.

     " _Sam_ told you that you had to do this," Dean asked in disbelief.

     Cas head shot up as he quickly said, "No! No, of course not. He just told me what it meant when I asked him," Cas quickly assured.

     "Alright," Dean stated slowly, and Cas could see his patience was more forced now, "then why the hell did you feel like you needed to do this?"

     "They...," Cas started in quick defense, but realizing his mistake, quickly snapping his mouth shut. Unfortunately, Dean zeroed in on it immediately.

     "They? Who is they," Dean asked quickly. When Cas did not answer, and only look back down at his clenched hands, Dean asked again more forcefully, "Castiel. Who. Is. They."

     "A book," Cas desperately exclaimed, "I read it in a book," Cas answered.

     There was a moment of silence where Dean only stared hard at Cas before finally saying, "I can't trust that," and shooting up from the bed.

     "W-what," Cas asked confused as he watched Dean walk towards his bedroom door.

     "If you're not going to tell me, than Sam will," was all that Dean said.

     "Dean, wait," Cas called out, but it was too late. Dean was already out the door.

* * *

     "Sam!"

     Sam jerked in surprise as his head shot up. He was greeted with the sight of his brother storming his way. Sam was even more surprised when the sight of a bath robe clad Castiel rounded the corner in a hurry, rushing after Dean and calling for him to stop. Dean was ignoring him though.

     "Sam," Dean snapped out, startling Sam once again.

     "Uh...what's wrong guys," Sam asked hesitantly, desperately trying to think of what he could possibly had done to warrant this.

     "Cas asked you about what a sugar daddy is," Dean stated, anger still in his tone.

     Oh. Sam looked over at Cas, who was giving Sam a desperate stare. Inwardly Sam winced as he gave Cas an apologetic look because he was not going to lie to Dean.

     "Yes, he did," Sam confirmed slowly, still frowning in confusion.

     "Did he tell you who he heard that from," Dean demanded.

     "No, he did not," Sam stated truthfully before saying, "but I have my suspicions."

     "Who," Dean demanded once again.

     "Dean," Cas started in a pleading voice, but Dean jerked his hand up, silencing Cas as he continued to stare hard at Sam.

     "I want their names, Sam," Dean demanded.

     Sam inwardly curse, knowing his answer was going to lead to some chaos happening in the bunker. "Cas wouldn't tell me, but I'm pretty sure it was Brian. I believe he and his group have been harassing him."

     "They haven't...," Cas started again, but Dean once again held his hand up, cutting him off.

     "Where are they," Dean asked.

     "They just got back from a hunt. I heard them in the kitchen."

     Then Dean took off.

* * *

     The door to the kitchen suddenly banged open as an angry Dean Winchester stormed through, making his way for Brian. Brian had enough time to stand up before Dean was throwing a punch against his jaw. The force of the punch sent Brian to the floor, at the same time his group shot to their feet. Brian wiped some blood away from his mouth as he exclaimed, "What the fuck is your problem, Winchester?!"

     Dean did not answer except to point towards the door as he said, "Get your shit and get the hell out of my bunker."

     Brian looked as if he was going to yell again, but right at that time a worried Sam and Cas rounded the corner. Brian took one look at the robe clad Cas and gave a scoff, "Did the little bitch go running to his daddy," he taunted.

     In an instant Dean had his gun out and aimed at Brian, "Go ahead, keep talking," his green eyes giving a dead, calm stare. One of the men made a move toward the bag of weapons, but Sam stopped him by raising his own gun, "Nah ah, don't even think about it. Keep your hands where I can see them. All of you," he warned.

     That exchange was ignored completely by Dean and Brian as they glared at each other. After a small pause Brian taunted, "You going to shoot me, Winchester? Prove to everyone here you're tainted, still a monster. Nothing but a monster defending another monster...," Brian was cut off when Dean moved his gun and it went off, startling everyone in the room. A bullet teared it's way through Brian's shoulder.

     "AH! FUCK! What the fuck is wrong with you," Brian screamed out, clutching at his shoulder.

     Dean's cold, dead stare did not waiver as he said, "I will not ask again. Get. The. Hell. Out. Or the next one goes through your skull," he warned.

     The whole room was silent until finally Brian slowly stood up, nodding his head at his group. He took a step toward the stairs, putting himself directly in front of Cas. He stopped completely, and Cas had to force himself to not flinch at the level of intensity of that glare that Brian was sending to him. Subtly, Cas let his angel blade in his hands as he let his grace glow in his eyes, once again sending Brian a silent warning. Brian looked as if he was about to challenge the warning when Dean stepped forward and placed the barrel of his gun against the back of Brian's skull as he said, "Keep walking asshole." Brian did make a move for the stairs, and his group followed him. When the last of the group finally left, the sound of the door slamming shut echoed through out the bunker. An awkward silence then filled the space between the three men until finally Dean put his gun away and stormed out of the room. Castiel's shoulders dropped as he watched him go with sad eyes.

     "Don't worry, he's not angry at you. He just needs to cool off," Sam gently assured.

     Cas let out a sigh as he placed his blade down to tightened the robe, that had come slightly loose in the commotion, around his body. Unable to bring himself to look at Sam, afraid to see judgement in his eyes.

     "Cas," Sam spoke up again, his tone still gentle, "I'm sorry if you are feeling betrayed right now. I'm not going to lie to Dean, especially if I think something is wrong."

     Finally Cas looked up at Sam with a reassuring smile as he stated, "I know, Sam. I don't expect you to lie to Dean. I just...I thought I had everything under control and could handle it," he weakly explained.

     "I know you could have, Cas, but you don't have to. We're a family. Under your control, or not, that means we can deal with these things together, not alone."

     Cas's smile brightened into a more grateful smile before making his way back to the safety of his library, worried about what he could say to Dean later.

* * *

     For the second time that day, Cas found himself on the other side of Dean's bedroom door, nervous. He took a deep breath before finally knocking on the door. He waited for the 'enter', and then stepped through. Dean was sitting at the small table in his room, all of his weapons, cleaning supplies, and sharpening supplies laid out on the table in front of him. Currently Dean was cleaning his gun, his face still hard and eyes glaring. Dean did not say anything as Cas entered in the room, and even did not say anything as Cas stood their silently, fidgeting. Cas was desperately thinking of something to say when Dean finally put him out of his misery.

     "Did you need something, Cas," Dean asked softly. His tone wasn't harsh, or rushed, but he still wouldn't look up at Cas from the cleaning.

     "I just...I wanted to....I'm" Cas was stuttering, "I'm really sorry, Dean," Cas finally finished brokenly, evident by the hitch in his voice.

     Dean placed the gun down, and moved onto cleaning his machete. "You don't need to apologize, Cas. You haven't done anything wrong," Dean stated softly, not a hint of anger in it. Despite that though, he still hasn't look up from his cleaning.

     "It doesn't feel that way," Cas answered just as softly.

     "I'm not upset with you, Cas," this was stated with a firmer tone.

     "Then why won't you look at me?"

     Dean finally set the machete down to rub at his eyes instead. His tell that he was frustrated and looking for answers. When he finally looked up, he let out a sad sigh when he saw the hurt in Cas's eyes.

     "I'm not upset at you, Cas. I'm just upset," Dean answered truthfully.

     "So talk to me. Please," Cas begged.

     Dean looked back down at the weapons on his table. He was silent as he glared down at the weapons on the table. Cas was about to plead again that Dean say something when Dean finally asked, "How long?"

     "What...," Cas started, but he was interrupted.

     "How long were they harassing you?"

     "Why does that...," Cas was interrupted again.

     "How. Long. Cas," this time the demand was clear in Dean's tone.

     Cas let go a frustrated sigh as he said, "Since we brought them over from the alternate universe."

     Dean paused all movements at those words before cursing softly and saying, "Seriously? That long? And you didn't..." Dean cut himself off just to curse silently again. 

     "But it's all taken care of now. You made them leave. Why are you still so upset," Cas asked, feeling frustrated.

     Dean gave Cas an incredulous look, "Why?  _Why_? You want to know why I am so upset that this has been going on under my roof for that long and without me knowing?"

     "You didn't know because I didn't tell you," Cas tried explaining, feeling utterly lost and confused.

     "That's exactly my point! You never told us. Sam and I came to you multiple times because we knew something was wrong, and each time you said it was nothing. After everything we have been through, and you still do not feel you can come to us when something is wrong," Dean exclaimed, looking both frustrated and hurt.

     "I thought I could handle it, Dean," Cas hurriedly explained.

     Dean rubbed at his eyes again before saying, "Nobody is doubting that, Cas. But we are family, man, a team! You've got to trust that you can come to us."

      "I do, Dean," Cas stated as he rushed forward to sit at the table across from Dean, "I swear, I honestly thought it would go away if I just ignore it."

     There was a moment of silent before Dean finally nodded in understanding and said, "Okay. But anytime something like that is going on, ignoring it won't make it go away, it'll only get worse. It's always better to go to someone you trust for help." Dean gave Cas a stern look as he said, "Promise me that you'll come to me or Sam if something like this happens again." His tone booked no room for argument. Cas smiled gently before saying, "I promise, Dean." Cas had hoped that Dean would look happier with that promise, but Dean went back to frowning down at the weapons laid out on the table.

     "You're still upset," Cas stated, confused.

     Dean continued to glare down at the weapons on the table before softly saying, “You were terrified."

     “What?”

     “When you came into my room, you were as white as a ghost and shaking like a leaf. You were afraid of me. You honestly thought I would hurt you like that,” Dean finished.

     “What,” Cas exclaimed, “No, that’s not true. I know you would never hurt me, Dean. I just…,” Cas looked frustrated, but then he let out a sigh. Cas reached over, and placed a gentle hand over Dean’s, stopping Dean’s fidgeting with the knife.

     “Dean, you know that all I want is to be useful to you and Sam…to have a purpose,” Cas looked down at their joined hands in shame as he said, “and as you probably also know, is that I have been feeling less than useful…without purpose. The harassment from Brian and others started off with them just insulting angels. Then Brian started saying I was useless and didn’t know how I deserve to be with you in the bunker…how I earned my place, and that’s when he brought up the sugar daddy and that I better start awarding you…to earn my place. I didn’t believe it at first, but the things he said…they really struck a nerve. I almost managed to put them behind me, but then that night at the library, you said something about getting your award.” Cas felt a flush spread on his face as he continued with, “That triggered all of Brian’s words back to the surface, and I started to panic. I was panicking because I want so bad to be useful, and to earn my place with you and Sam. The idea of disappointing you or losing you…terrifies me…and I,” by this point Cas’s words and tone thickened. He tried to swallow down the tightness, desperate not to get upset in front of Dean. Cas forced himself to finish explaining, “I’ve dreamed and fantasized with being with you in a relationship…of you loving me. I was panicking when I came to you because Brian had corrupted all of that, and I didn’t want being with you to happen like that.” Once Cas finished explaining, he brought his hands back to his own lap as he refused to look up at Dean. This was the second time he had confessed to Dean his feelings, and he was scared to see Dean’s judgmental look. Warm hands grasped at his own clenched hands, and he looked up to see soft green eyes.

     “Cas, you need to start trusting me when I tell you that you are family,” Dean stated softly. Cas opened his mouth to interrupt, but Dean held up a hand to stop him. “No, clearly you don’t trust that if you are still spatting that usefulness crap,” he finished harshly. Cas snapped his mouth shut, and he looked back down at his hands in shame. A finger placing gentle pressure on his chin caused him to look up at Dean again.

     “So listen up, alright? First of all, you are more than useful. You can translate all the languages in the world, and kick monster ass with just a flick of the wrist. You are a bad ass, and I won’t stand for you saying otherwise anymore,” Dean stated firmly, causing Cas to blush, “and second: even if you did decided all you wanted to do was sit around and read for the rest of your days, that would be just as fine as well. You’re not here because of whether or not you're useful or if you earned your place. You are here because you are wanted here, because you are family,” Dean stated earnestly, “I need you to trust me on that.”

     Cas gave a slow nod, not saying anything, but then Dean ducked his head until his eyes met Cas’s. “I’m serious, Cas. I need you to believe that,” he stated firmly.

     Cas finally gave a sincere smile to Dean before saying, “Okay, Dean. I believe you.” Dean remained silent as he looked carefully at Cas, looking for any signs of deception or disbelief. When he saw none, he let out a big sigh as he relaxed against the chair. “Good,” Dean stated relieved before he threatened, “I swear, if we have to have this conversation again, I’m going to torture you with tickles until I am assured you believe me.” Cas’s happy laughter was all he needed to hear to bring a relaxed, sincere smile of his own, as if the sound was music to his ears.

     "And just for the record, that award I was referring to was pie, homemade cherry pie. Which I still haven't got by the way," Dean teased, hoping to hear more of that laughter, and he wasn't disappointed.

* * *

     It was the next day when Cas found himself looking through the books on the shelf in his mini library, trying to pick which book he wanted to read next. Now that the excitement from yesterday had finally calmed down, and emotions were no longer high, Cas was feeling foolish and silly for being so gullible. Cas mindlessly picked a book with an interesting title from the shelf as he tried to calm the blush on his face while he read the summary on the back of the book. He could not believe he let Brian’s words get the better of him. Dean had assured him he shouldn’t feel embarrassed. He said that people like Brian know exactly what buttons to press to make a person feel vulnerable. Nevertheless, he still felt foolish for even believing a fraction of what was said. Cas should have known better. Should have put his knowledge of his righteous man first. Dean had even said he did not want it to happen like that either. Cas should have already known this without having to be told.

     Cas froze as the book he was holding in his hands dropped to the ground. He ran that last thought in his head. _Dean had not wanted it to happen like that either_. At first he was going to toss that away to wishful thinking, but then he remembered Dean’s words when he comforted Cas after he admitted he didn’t want them to happen like that. _I don’t want it to happen like this either_. Those had been Dean’s words. Could that mean that he… Cas nearly tripped over himself as he rushed out of the room in search of Dean.

     Dean was in the garage when Cas finally found him. Dean had Led Zeppelin playing on the stereo, turned all the way up, as he did maintenance work on baby. He was wearing one his fitted black shirts, covered in sweat and grime, as he changed the oil. The sight turned Cas’s muscles to mush. Dean chose that moment to look up and see the flushed and silent Cas. He looked down at himself before looking back up and raising an amused eyebrow at Cas as he wiped his hands with a stained rag. There was a sudden silence in the garage, informing Cas that Dean turned the music off.

     “Something on your mind, Cas,” Dean asked, looking for all the world that he wasn’t aware of what exactly Cas was thinking. The teasing assbutt.

     “You…,” Cas faltered, still flustered.

     “ _I_ …what,” Dean asked, this time with a teasing smirk.

     “You…you said…”

     Dean cocked his head to the side as he slowly approached Cas. “What? What did I say,” Dean asked gently. Cas swallowed as he matched Dean’s steps with a step backwards until he bumped into a counter. Then Dean was suddenly right in front of him, helping him sit on top of the low counter as Dean stood in between Cas’s open legs. Dean laid a hand down on each side of Cas, caging him in as he said, “Go on. Tell me what I said,” his tone soft and just above a whispered.

     “You…you said that you didn’t want it to happen like that either,” Cas finally said.

    “Hmm…I guess I did,” Dean answered, not bothering to pretend to not know what Cas was referring to.

    “Which…which implies that you had something else in mind,” Cas continued hesitantly.

    Dean gave another pleased _‘mmm’_ before saying, “I guess it does.”

    Cas remained silent as he searched Dean’s eyes, looking for any signs of unsureness or hesitancy. Dean tilted his head to the side again as a challenge glinted in those green eyes.

    “So what are you going to do about it,” Dean finally asked.

    That was all Cas needed to hear. With both hands he grasped that grease stained shirt and tugged Dean forward until their lips finally met. Dean gave a pleased chuckle, and Cas decided to retaliate by catching the bottom lip in between his teeth, bringing out a moan from Dean before he deepened the kiss by delving his tongue inside to wrap around Cas’s. When they finally parted to catch their breath, they rested their foreheads against one another’s. Dean huffed out a laugh as he said, “Well it’s about time you caught on.” Cas huffed out his own laughter.

     “Why haven’t you said anything,” Cas decided to ask.

     “I wanted you to be the one to come to me…on your own. After what happened…I had to be sure this is what you wanted,” Dean answered with a sad smile.

     Cas gave Dean a gentle smile as he cupped his cheek. He gave a gentle kiss before whispering, “Of course this is what I want, silly. Like I told you, this right here, is everything I ever wanted: us being together.” Dean returned the smile and leaned in for another kiss. When they pulled away, Dean was surprised to see Cas’s own eyes glint with a challenge as his had done just moments ago. Cas gave a seductive smile as he wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist and tugged him closer until their bodies were flushed together.

     “You know,” Cas stated, “you still haven’t told me what exactly you had in mind.”

     Cas let out a moan when Dean gripped Cas’s hips. He leaned forward to tug at Dean’s ear lobe with his teeth before kissing his way down the man’s neck.

     “Mmm…I kind of want to know what you had in mind,” Dean teased before moaning as Cas sucked on a particularly sensitive spot. Cas smiled as he decided to focus on that sensitive spot, bringing out more of those delicious moans and gasps from Dean.

     “I guess we’ll be in here a while then,” Cas teased.

     “No complaints here,” Dean answered before he decided to take back the upper hand by ripping away Cas’s dress shirt and bending down to attack Cas’s nipples with his mouth. Cas’s answering giggle was all that was heard before the garage was filled with moans and screams.

     They really were in there for hours, and by the time they came out, poor Sam had already ditched the bunker with a hastily written note about going out for sound canceling ear buds. He was going to need them. 

**Author's Note:**

> This came as an idea that would not go away. So I decided to write it so I can get back to Destined Souls. I hope you liked this one!


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